As the creator of a comic that no one reads, I often find myself pretending to get interesting and thoughtful questions from imaginary fans. Below is a list of questions I would assume people would ask if they were interested in what I was doing.

Q: I hate your comic, and I probably hate you. How can I tell you in a quick and efficient manner?

A: Please feel free to send me as much hate mail as you’d like. I thrive off of it. Please refer to our good friend Steve Atkins’ Theory of Happiness for more information.

Q: Where are all of the comics I read spat on in the UCONN Daily Campus?

A: Regrettably, I had the gall to draw and publish over 300 terrible comics in the college paper. Of those 300, probably 20 - 40 are worth the effort of redrawing / converting to go on the site. If you are mentally disturbed enough to have any requests for a specific comic to be reprinted, please pray to your deity of choice to force me to comply. That, or email works too.

Q: Why does the art quality dramatically fluctuate?

A: In a perfect world, anyone but me would draw the comics. I can’t always trick people into drawing things for me so sometimes I have to do it myself. While the style of my scrawling is reminiscent of a deeply disturbed child, I can assure you that with enough mental bleach and some persistence, any horror I produce will subside.

Q: What are the names of all the characters?

A: Besides the cat who is named Coillcumhann (or Stickcat for short), none of the characters have names. If we name them, we might kill them less frequently. I think we can all agree that less violence is not what this comic is about.

Q: Why is this comic exactly like Garfield?

A: While it’s fun to imagine Stickcat’s antics being similar to the 20th president of the United States, numerous historical accounts continually disprove this assertion.

Q: Why are the comics in black and white?

A: When I first started mass producing the comic for the Daily Campus, it needed to be in black and white. Now it’s just a habit. Maybe I can convince Fritz to do some color stuff.

Q: Why are you using (fill-in-blank) for merchandise?

A: We want to get a deal going for shirts and run the merchandise end of the shop in-house. Anyone willing to run a few samples of apparel by us will be rewarded with a sizable bulk order. Books or on demand strip prints are not are not out of the ballpark either. In the meantime, our current solution is to use cafepress or to make the stuff ourselves. If you are interested, please contact sales@stickcat.net and we’ll set something up.

Q: Please make more with the Sun or the Moon.

A: No, Steve.

Did I not address a question? Feel free to comment or email me.